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In a world where anger and anxiety are taking center stage, the practice of lament offers a profound and healing alternative. By providing a structured outlet for sorrow and grief, lament allows individuals to process their emotions in a meaningful way, fostering resilience, hope, and inner peace. Embracing lament can transform our approach to emotional challenges, guiding us towards a more balanced and compassionate existence. 

In the complex tapestry of human emotions, anger and anxiety often dominate, casting shadows over our well-being and relationships. These emotions, while natural, can lead to destructive patterns if left unchecked. Amidst these turbulent feelings, the ancient practice of lament offers a poignant and transformative alternative. Lament, deeply rooted in various cultural and religious traditions, allows individuals to express their sorrow and grief in a structured, meaningful way, paving a path towards healing and peace.  

Understanding Lament 

Lament is more than mere expression of grief; it is a profound act of vocalizing pain and seeking solace. Historically, lament has been a cornerstone in many cultures, from biblical psalms to traditional mourning songs. It involves an honest acknowledgment of suffering, a cry for help, and often, a plea for justice or understanding. Unlike anger, which can be outwardly aggressive, or anxiety, which is inwardly consuming, lament provides a balanced outlet for emotional turmoil. Lament as I noted in my previous artcile is an active experience, Lament “is not a static event that is done alone in silence. It is instead a community event.” For me, I lean into trust. Trust then is a secondary practice that also needs to be cultivated in these times. I choose as a follower of Jesus to believe that God is right with us, to let the sting of grief, be painful as long as it needs to be and to trust that whatever ok is for the next moment is the okay that needed to be present in the next moment” 

The Structure of Lament 

Lament typically follows a structured format, which can vary across different traditions. Generally, it includes: 

• Invocation: Calling upon a higher power or the universe. 

• Complaint: Articulating the pain, injustice, or sorrow being experienced. 

• Petition: Requesting intervention, relief, or understanding. 

• Expression of Trust: Affirming faith in a higher power or in the possibility of resolution. 

• Praise: Offering gratitude or praise, often despite the ongoing pain. 

Anger and Anxiety: Emotional Responses Explored 

To appreciate the role of lament, it is essential to understand the nature of anger and anxiety. Both emotions serve as responses to perceived threats or injustices but manifest differently. 

Anger 

Anger is powerful emotion that for many who have not been raised in a home with deep emotional intimacy acts as a primary emotion. Anger often masks true feelings of shame, disappointment, embarrassment and others, even happiness. Not dealt with, anger can move one from simply experiencing mental anguish to physical maladies like hypertension and heart disease.  

Anxiety 

Anxiety, on the other hand, is characterized by persistent worry and fear about future uncertainties. While a normal human emotion, I often see it become debilitating, leading to insomnia, panic attacks, and a pervasive sense of dread. Unlike the outward energy of anger, anxiety often leads to inward paralysis. 

Lament as a Therapeutic Practice 

Lament offers a therapeutic alternative to the cycles of anger and anxiety, transforming these intense emotions into a constructive and healing process. 

In my practice as a clinician, I make space by allowing my clients to vocalizing sorrow and grief through lament, though they often don’t realize it. This acknowledgment is crucial for emotional health, as it prevents feelings from festering and manifesting as anger or anxiety. Often, my clients will feel that all they did in my session was complain, but when we in community with even one other other person we are able to vocalize our sorrows and grief, and the other person can listen actively, the simple act of being heard can be all we need to alleviate pressure.  

Structured Release 

For some in our world and especially, here in America, some are experiencing profound loss in a variety of ways. The fires out West, the Hurricanes in the South and a new President who seems to want to unravel decades of social progress are all topics that invade my news feeds. Many are mourning. A mourner experiences loneliness. 

Lament offers structure to dealing with loss and difficult change. The structured nature of lament provides a safe space for emotional release. Unlike the raw and often chaotic expressions of anger or anxiety, lament guides individuals through their pain in a controlled manner, promoting clarity and understanding. 

As noted in my post and in the My Jewish Learning post, lament is best practiced in community. In community, we can share together feelings of isolation that come with anger and anxiety and in return receive feelings of support and solidarity. Hope is fostered as we continue connect and engage with our community. When we practice hope as a spiritual practice we cultivate three attitudes:  

Patience – patience is simply the ability to tolerate others or delays. One of the greatest mindfulness practices centers around our lack of patience. Suffering simply comes from our desires. In the case of the inability to tolerate others, one must ask “why do I see myself differently than this person I am impatient with? Why do I see myself as better?”  

Courage – an attitude of trust and confidence when facing the unknown. 

Persistence – the determination to keep going no matter what happens. We practice hope when we can say all will be well, and we mean it. It is to be noted that this idea of persistence is not stubbornness, it is deeper than this, it is grit, it is the stick-to-it-ness that breeds discipline and success.   

Practical Steps to Incorporate Lament 

Incorporating lament into one’s emotional toolkit can be a transformative process. Here are some practical steps to practice lament: 

1. Create a Safe Space 

Find a quiet and comfortable place where you feel safe to express your emotions without judgment. 

2. Write or Speak Your Lament 

Whether through journaling or vocal expression, articulate your sorrow, grievances, and pleas. Follow the structure of invocation, complaint, petition, expression of trust, and praise. 

3. Engage in Communal Lament 

Join a support group or community (ideally a church that shares your faith leanings) where lament is practiced collectively. Sharing your lament with others can enhance the healing process. 

4. Reflect and Meditate 

After expressing your lament, spend time in reflection and meditation. Allow yourself to process the emotions and insights that arise. 

5. Seek Professional Guidance 

If your anger or anxiety is overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can help you incorporate lament into your emotional healing journey. 

To close, the world is pretty yucky right now and it probably is going to be this way for a while. Wishing for things to go back to the way they were is not going to make anyone feel better. Lament is an active process, and change happens when we take an active role in dealing with our suffering.  

Lament as a practice leads to a renewed sense of hope and trust in God. The process of lamenting allows believers to process their emotions and realign their focus on God’s promises. In Psalm 42, the psalmist begins with a deep sense of longing and despair but concludes with hope: “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why the unease within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:11). 

Patriotism, communism, socialism, racism, sexism. All these “isms” seem to be defining who we are right, and they are putting is in odds with each other and tearing us apart. It makes me wonder, is this the way we should be posturing ourselves if we claim to be Christian? 

Mathew 5:44 – “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” 

It is often suggested to approach those who oppose us with understanding and compassion. Sometimes, our greatest adversaries are our own fears and insecurities. We often have negative feelings towards things we are afraid of.  

Despite all the negativity, I am still hopeful. 

Let’s put things in perspective. This is not the worse it has ever been. We can go back just a few years, let’s start in the 1890s and stop just before World War II.  

This week has been a divisive week for America. I have been saying for a while now that we do not have a point of reference for the many disruptions going on right now. Certainly, we have people alive who lived through Segregation and the Civil Rights Movement, but no one alive now experienced the labor riots of the 1890s through the early 20th century. The 1920’s contrary to its moniker, “the roaring 20’s” was no party either.  

I have read and heard a lot about how bad Trump and his cadre of loyalists are. Again, we must turn to history to put things in perspective. In Trump, I am reminded of Woodrow Wilson, who often is noted as the most hated or worst president in US history.  

Some notable criticisms of Wilson that have parallels to Trump’s policies today: 

Racial Segregation: Wilson oversaw the re-segregation of the federal government, reversing decades of progress towards racial equality.  Wilson and much of American society was racist, sexist and misogynistic in ways that would make today look tame.  

Interventionism: His policies in Latin America were often seen as imperialistic and interventionist.    

League of Nations Failure: The United States ultimately failed to join the League of Nations, undermining its effectiveness. 

Isolationism: Wilson then as America has become again today is isolationist. “World War I was probably history’s worst catastrophe, and U.S. President Woodrow Wilson was substantially responsible for unintended consequences of the war that played out in Germany and Russia, contributing to the rise of totalitarian regimes and another world war. American “isolationism” — armed neutrality would be a more accurate term — developed as a sensible reaction to his policies. After Germany’s initial advances into the Low Countries and France, the adversaries in World War I dug trenches and seldom advanced or retreated much from those lines.” 

Empathy   

I ended 2024 with a post on our posture in 2025. Loving our enemies in a practical way starts with empathy. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we can begin to understand their perspectives and motivations. This understanding can soften our hearts and open the door to compassion. 

Empathy is the cornerstone of this transformation, allowing us to bridge the chasms of division with understanding and compassion. By extending empathy, we create a fertile ground for kindness to flourish, even amidst hostility. This practice not only defuses tension but also builds a foundation of mutual respect and positive interaction. However, kindness should not come at the expense of our own well-being. Establishing boundaries ensures that we protect ourselves while continuing to engage with others compassionately. Through this balance, we acknowledge and confront our own “isms,” recognizing how they trap us in cycles of prejudice and separation. Embracing the teachings of Jesus Christ, we are called to transcend these barriers, embodying a love that is pure and unburdened. This journey of compassion and self-awareness leads us to a deeper understanding of our shared humanity and aligns us with the true essence of Christ’s message. 

The Spiritual Practice of Kindness 

We must strive to communicate with kindness. Even when faced with hostility, responding calmly and respectfully can defuse tension and foster a more positive interaction. Acts of kindness, no matter how small, can have a profound impact. Offering a smile, a helping hand, or a sincere compliment can break down barriers and build bridges. 

Kindness also means loving ourselves. Loving ourselves means facing our “isms”, sexism, racism, liberalism, nationalism, consumerism and seeing how these keep us trapped. With a true relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord, when we really lean into Jesus’ teachings, we see none of this. Jesus challenged not only the imperial Jewish but also the imperial Roman notions of these “isms” and turned society on its head. We must do the same.  

 Compassion 

We suffer because we cling. A lot of people are on a spectrum right now between concerned and scared. Our “isms” can keep us trapped in notions of permanence and certainty, often forgetting that life’s essence is fluid and ever-changing. Richard Rohr’s wisdom reminds us that by embracing compassion, we transcend our limited viewpoints and foster a world built on understanding and unity. It is through this practice of compassion that we begin to shed our prejudices, judgments, and the various “isms” that divide us. By freeing ourselves from these constraints, we align more closely with the teachings of Christ, who urged us to love unconditionally.  

On 1/20, Richard Rohr outlined the difficulty of loving others by reflecting on Martin Luther King whose legacy we celebrated on Monday. Rohr offered these points at the end of his message: 

First, we must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive…. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, rather, that the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship….    

Second, we must recognize that the evil deed of the enemy-neighbor, the thing that hurts, never quite expresses all that they are. An element of goodness may be found even in our worst enemy….   

Jesus casts all our “isms” into the swine and they drown.  

In Mathew 8:28-34, we hear about Jesus casting demons into the swine. In this story, the man is possessed by demons. He comes to Jesus, who if we are following along, has power and reign over sin and those things that consumes us, and he casts out the man’s demons into a herd of swine. Here, we can use this analogy for the demons that possess us. In the case of this post, all the “isms” that we use to identify ourselves.  

When our “isms” drown, we are left with the pure love of Christ. This love, unburdened by prejudice and fear, allows us to see the inherent worth in every individual and to act with grace and humility. It guides us to extend a hand to those in need, to lend an ear to those unheard, and to be a beacon of hope in a world often shadowed by division. By embracing this divine love, we embody the true essence of Christ’s teachings, living lives that reflect his message of unconditional love and compassion for all. 

When our “isms” drown, we are left with the pure love of Christ.  

 

John Wesley said there are two types of holiness. Personal holiness, where you grow your personal relationship with God, and social holiness, which is loving and supporting your neighbors. To be a complete Christian, we need to focus on both. He wrote: “The Gospel of Christ knows of no religion, but social; no holiness but social holiness. Faith working by love is the length and breadth and depth of Christian perfection.” 

I want to end the year with a series of discussions looking at how we can begin to have healthy, theological and biblically critical informed conversations around how we talk about matters of faith in a polarized and divided world. In this week’s post, I will discuss what civil discourse is, look at its Jewish roots and spend a bit time looking at the history of the Wesleyan movement and how it shaped 18th century England, America and eventually the world. Wesley, turned away from an Anglican pulpit declared that all the world was his pulpit. Jesus did not die for the church; he died for the world. We build a better world when learn to talk to each other. I see this in my counseling office, when I get couples to actually learn how to talk to each other, their relationships get better. We need to learn to listen better. 

Jewish Dialogue 

One of the concepts I enjoyed learning about when doing the research and writing for my World Religions Class that I teach was how Jewish people dialogue with each other. From an outsider’s perspective, what I read looked a lot like how my Italian Grandfather and Uncles would speak to each other when I was a kid, but with Jewish people, there is a grace, a gratitude and a listening that is unlike anything I have observed outside of my counseling office.  

Johnathan Sacks, who was a Jewish Rabbi offers “When individual Jews or groups of Jews have disagreements, as inevitably happens, we have to find ways to overcome them respectfully, to ensure we continue to thrive as a people.” 

He offers these points on how to have a civil dialogue: 

Principle 1: Keep talking, even when you disagree. The more you talk, the more you are likely to eventually find a way to work together. 

Principle 2: Listen deeply to one another. Hear what your opponent is saying. Listening is profoundly therapeutic. It is also deeply spiritual.  

Principle 3: Always be humble and modest by striving to understand the point of view with which you disagree. That was the way of Hillel. It remains the first rule of conflict management. 

Principle 4: Never seek victory. Never ever seek to inflict defeat on your opponents. If you seek to inflict defeat on your opponent, your opponent – such is human psychology – will seek to retaliate by inflicting defeat on you. The end result will be that even if you win today, you will lose tomorrow, and, in the end, everyone will lose. Don’t think in terms of victory and defeat. Think in terms of what is best for the Jewish (others) people. 

Principle 5: If you show contempt for other Jews (others), they will show contempt for you. If you show respect for other Jews (others), they will show respect for you. If you seek respect, give respect. 

There is a lot of wisdom here. I teach people to listen with their eyes and heart as much as with their ears. I feel Jesus captured Rabbi Sacks points when he would disagree in his “you have heard it said” teachings. Here, we see Jesus masterfully reflect thoughtfully on his scriptures and re interpret them for his audience. He also eloquently used the parable device to strengthen his teachings. Even when he did condemn, it is done gently.  

Civil Discourse 

I bill myself as a therapist and pastor who makes space for dangerous questions. Had the term civil discourse been around at the beginning of my career, I would have found a way to work this term into my explanation of what I do. Civil discourse is the practice of deliberating about matters of public concern in a way that seeks to expand knowledge and promote understanding. The word “civil” relates directly to civic in the sense of being oriented toward public life, and less directly to civility, in the sense of mere politeness.  

Both of my Master’s programs were rigorous, but my second was particularly rigorous in that I had to often reflect on society’s “other” in the counseling relationship. I had to look at how to counsel from a white perspective with someone who was black, in the LGBTQ+ community and with women among others. In my first Master’s program, I studied primarily the theologies of Black men, Latino, Womanist, Feminist and what is now known as Queer theological perspectives, all of which did not set me up for ministry success in my primarily white and now solidly red state of Pennsylvania.  

Civil Discourse requires serious study and practice of the spiritual practice of grace.  

Acts 2 Church and John Wesley 

One of the classes I remember in Seminary was my Methodist history course. We learned it through the eyes of women who went out and spread the Methodist mission beyond the colonies and into the frontier. Often given a gun, a bible and a license to preach, these women would help establish the church westward. Along the way, the frontier was tamed and education of the masses spread through the Sunday school model.  

The Acts 2 is a model for small, intimate gatherings to look at the teachings of Jesus and widen the mission of the early church. Wesley would pick this up later with his holy meetings. Tie this with the Methodist focus on education early on and we can begin to see our role in combatting ignorance. Ignorance won in the 2024 election. Ignorance and fear put Jesus on the cross and ignorance and fear is the driver that allows insignificant people to become powerful tyrants.  

Wesley wanted us to “become Christ in heart and in actions.” Jesus took time to speak with everyone. With grace. With love. With understanding. The next couple of weeks, I want to explore how we can begin to do this on issues that we may not see eye to eye on.  

 

 

Psalm 82:3 tells us to defend the poor and the orphan. This has been my vocational call since I was in college studying to be a social worker. In the timespan between then and now, I have been a social worker, a minister and a therapist. I have been a Benedictine Oblate for 22 years. Peace and justice runs through my veins.  

Something odd happened last week that seemingly started a long time ago and is a reminder for many of those I have served in my vocational and ministerial work that they are not okay. The United States voted for a person who in word and action gives voice and affirmation to a form of Christianity that does not look like the faith of Jesus. The United States may have officially entered into a new form of governance, though time and history will have to be the ones to determine this.  

I needed a week of sessions with my clients to hear their stories and to sort out my thoughts on what to say in this post. When 9/11 happened, I was just 24, newly married, and I started seminary a month prior to the attacks. The Sunday following the attacks, I preached my first sermon as a seminarian. I don’t remember the exact words, but I remember grace and love punctuated my message.  

What Would Bonhoeffer Say 

In his 1934 sermon, “My Strength is Made Perfect in my Weakness”, Bonhoeffer offers: 

“Christianity stands or falls by its revolutionary protest against violence, arbitrariness and pride of power, and by its apologia for the weak 

“I feel that Christianity is doing too little in making these points rather than doing too much. Christianity has adjusted itself much too easily to the worship of power. It should give much more offence, more shock to the world, than it is doing. Christianity should take a much more definite stand for the weak than for the potential moral right of the strong.” 

Here, Bonhoeffer is writing to speak for the vulnerable patients at the care facility he is ministering at. During the Nazi regime, these patients were in grave danger of being executed because of their perceived weak position and not being the perfect Aryan race. As Christians who claim to be committed to not only the Christ, the metaphysical logos of Jesus, but also to the historical Jesus, a dead, brown Jew who lived in an occupied country who gave voice to the other, we too must stand and give voice and support to those oppressed in our country today.  

Bonhoeffer goes on to tell us that weakness is holy and that we must devote ourselves to the weak. This is in alignment with the Acts 2 church. Not only do we as humans as whole suffer, but Bonhoeffer also shares that God shares in this suffering because God suffered on the cross. He offers, “God suffers much more. Our God is a suffering God. Suffering conforms humanity to God. The suffering person is in the likeness of God. “My strength is made perfect in weakness” says God.” 

In his book, “Ethics”, Bonhoeffer among the many points he makes, he talks about love. He says that the word love, reflecting on 1 Corinthians 13:2-3 is “the decisive word which marks the distinction between man in disunion and man in the origin.” (page 51) Bonhoeffer points out that God is love. He insists that it is not a “human attitude, conviction or deed, but God himself is love. When we act selfishly, arrogantly, ignorantly, we are doing so out of guidance from a proof texted bible passage, the making of God in our own image and reacting out of fear. We are not abiding in the love, grace and providence of love. 1 Corinthians 13 goes on to say that if we do not have love, we are only crashing cymbals and clanging gongs.  

What Would Rage Against the Machine Say 

I have never been a pastor who pushed a prescribed faith. I certainly adhere to my Wesleyan heritage and theology and if I were still in a church, would teach this doctrine exclusively, but that does not meet you where you are. But this time, things are different. I see what happened last week as an act of a lack of moral courage. The election last week reignited my 19-year-old Social Work self, feeling all the feels for the “poor, widowed and orphaned”. Then I started to listen to all the Rage Against the Machine music that once inspired all this youthful ambition.  

Rage Against the Machine challenges us to “know our enemy”. their 1992 song, Know Your Enemy, is an anthem that calls for awareness, resistance, and unity against societal oppression. The question though, who is our enemy. Our current elected leader claimed that we had enemies within. While the Rage song is about corporate and political greed, our enemy right now is ourselves. We are fearful, ignorant people. We consume too much information from unvetted sources, and everyone can instantly be an ignorant trivia expert. We are all complicit with becoming the enemy within.  

The Spiritual Practice of Grace 

I spent the entire week last week hearing a lot of emotionally overwhelmed speak fear, anxiety and hopelessness into the air of my office. I said many times last week, reflecting on the history of our country and in general, the history of Christianity itself with all of it’s persecutions, riots and mudslides, that it was going to be okay, though I do not know what this okay is going to look like.  

Wednesday, as I looked briefly at some of the posts on Facebook, I simply added that I am choosing grace and then took a day away from all the rhetoric to reflect on this and cultivate an attitude of grace. When we engage in the spiritual practice of grace, we open space for receptivity and surrender to the reality of what is, though never losing sight of hope.  By opening this space, we balance our need for control, we temper our emotions and open our hearts for potential possibility. “Grace is a gift of God. Because it comes to us at God’s initiative, there are some things we can’t do about grace. We can’t earn it. We can’t control it. We don’t have to deserve it.” 

I want to close with a reflection on the words from our Council of Bishops of The United Methodist Church. On November 7, Bishop Tracy Malone reflecting on 1 Corinthians 13:13 called all Methodists to “to exercise their faith and to pray, speak, and act for justice and peace.” She challenges our baptismal vow to ““to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves.” While directed to the United Methodists, I think this gives all of us our marching orders over the next four years. We must be diligent, we must defend the poor, widow and orphan.  

 

This is a post that focuses on the spiritual practice of you. You are a precious gift from the divine. You are potential seat of Christ, and you are loved. Each of us is a work in progress and there is always room for improvement. We are not just human beings, we are human becomings. No matter what you are going through right now, no matter how bad it will be tomorrow or the next day, you are loved, and you will get through it.  

If you or a loved one is struggling with their mental health, there is hope and there is help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. If suicide has been an option for you or has a place on your table, then please reach out to the suicide hotline at 988 

My news feed has been all abuzz about Simone Biles. My niece is a gymnast, so anytime I have questions, which is often, I go to her. I saw a meme the other day that said Biles jumped 12 feet in her floor routine during the Olympic trials. In the running world, when I tell people that I run 30 miles in a day and hear “I don’t like to drive that far”, I think of saying Simone Biles, “I don’t like to fall that far” (anymore, there may have been a time when I was 18). Simone Biles is also known for her withdraw from the women’s team gymnastics final at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics, citing mental health concerns.  

For transparency’s sake, the following is not an armchair discussion on mental health. I am a licensed clinician in the state of Pennsylvania with over twenty years’ experience in the mental health fields. Trauma, anxiety, and loss are all areas of expertise for me.  

There is some discussion in the world of faith that mental health issues are all in your head and that one simply must “get over it.” Let us discuss the three known areas highlighted in the many reports and stories about Miss Biles: sexual trauma, sports anxiety, and loss of family.  

 Mental Health and Sexual Trauma 

As a clinician, one of the hardest traumas to help someone work through is sexual trauma. Nothing robs a person’s sense of self more. Biles was part of the very public sexual abuse case brought on by her team doctor, Larry Nasser  

Sexual trauma is very prevalent in all societies. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) offers these statistics: 

A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) survey found that 27% of women and 4% of men reported being victims of rape or attempted rape. 

That same CDC survey found that almost half of women and almost a quarter of men have received unwanted sexual contact — which means there was touching but not penetration. 

In the U.S., it’s estimated that over 60,000 children are sexually abused each year. 

As noted above, sexual violence can cause lingering effects. These effects include but are not limited to loss of sense of self, emotional dysregulation, depersonalization and derealization, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). 

Mental Health and Sports/Performance Anxiety 

I ran(or attempted to run) ultramarathons for 12 years. At my peak, I was doing on average three a year with my longest race at 100k. At my peak, 2014-2020, I consistently ran sub eight-hour 50k’s and one sub seven-hour 50k. For nine months out of the year, it was one eight-week training cycle after another, usually in the range of 12-14 hours/ week on top of my regularly scheduled 40 hour/week job and raising kids. I am an amateur at best.  

In 2020, during COVID, my nine-month season was compressed into seven weeks. In those seven weeks, I did a 50k and then week later a marathon and two weeks later, another 50k followed by a 23-hour event the week after that. In 2021, I got the first two COVID shots and had COVID for the first time and something happened to my endurance capacity, ending my ultrarunning days.  

It is not uncommon for pro athletes in my sport to commit to 30-40 hours a week of training as a full-time job. Add the pressure of performing on the world’s stage and you can begin to understand how stressful the challenges of being a pro athlete can be.  

Simone Biles experienced a medical phenomenon well known to gymnasts, the twisties. “The twisties are a mental block that creates a dangerous disconnect between mind and body while gymnasts are airborne. There is a brain-body connection that allows the gymnast to rotate their bodies. It is the brain – body connection that allows gymnast to make these rotations. With the twisties, this brain body connection is disrupted. Anxiety in the form of stress, doubt, pressure, and perseverating on a mistake are all thought to be contributors to the twisties.  

Mental Health and Grief/Loss 

I once went to a grief conference when I was a pastor where the presenter said that it takes seven years for every year you knew the lost loved one to move past their loss. It was reported that Miss Biles lost a family member during her last Olympic performance. If sexual trauma is difficult, grief is right up there on the scale of difficulty.  

Often in therapy, I have to do a good amount of reeducation on how grief works. Most folks link that Kubler Ross’s grief cycle is linear. In reality, it can be cyclical. When I first start working with someone dealing with grief and we have a good rapport, I begin to explain that there are a lot of firsts after the death of a loved one or the loss of an opportunity.  

Let’s take the death of your grandmother. Say she really like Halloween, Christmas and a really nice July picnic with potato salad and sweet tea. Well, after death, after you move through the stages of grief and accept her passing, you have to do it to some degree all over again when those special moments noted happen the next year. Then you run into your college roommate you have not seen in years. She knows how close you were to her in college, and she asks about your grandma, not knowing she has died, again, you may go back to the depression stage, maybe even anger or bargaining, but eventually back to acceptance. It is not as easy as “just get over it, she is gone.” When I preached a couple of funerals, I used to say death is the end of new meaning. Grandma never existed until you made meaning with her. That meaning is lifelong for you and if you were very close, that meaning not being there to be renewed regularly is going to hurt for a while.  

The Spiritual Practice of You 

God knows us. Like a loving parent. As mentioned in my opening, you are a special gift from God and loved intently. “The spiritual practice of you challenges us to become all we are meant to be as God’s beloved sons and daughters. We are, after all, co-creators of the Great Work of the universe. By attuning ourselves to what in different traditions has been called the image of God, the everlasting soul, or the higher self, we are able to fulfill our mission in life.” 

Simone Biles teaches us that we can be resilient and alive despite our mental health struggles. She teaches us to be courageous and kind despite the bitter sting of anxiety eroding away at our confidence. She teaches us it is okay to step back, set boundaries and take time for ourselves.

If you are struggling with your mental health, take time for yourself, and reach out and talk to someone.