Joy

This weekend we celebrated my mom and dad’s 50th anniversary. To watch these two over the entirety of my life has been a model for what a relationship should look like. Whether it was making out in the kitchen, telling dirty jokes to each other, doing dishes together or talking about finances together, Sue and Jerry have been a model for healthy relationships.

In reflecting on how this party played out, I am refelctive this Monday on two ideas: Sisu, the Finnish art of courage and how it relates to relationship and Joy and the spiritual practice of Joy.

From Joanna Nylund’s book around the topic of Sisu, she offers that Sisu in relationships looks like this:

• Always show respect
• Don’t keep tabs
• Give each other freedom
• Work from your strenghts

Joy as a spiritual practice enhances one’s happiness and can counter or balance sadness and sorrow. As a practice it can help one grow in delight in being alive. It is our response to happiness and experiences of pleasures and an overall awareness of abundance (Brussat).

We all laughed this evening, sharing stories of yesteryear, looking at old photos and laughing at how young we all were.

Sue and Jerry are a couple that seem to have broken the mold. While not always getting it right, they consistently have shown their children and family how to be in a relationship and how to keep joy alive. Consistenly, in the pictures of yesterday compared to today, you see the same goofiness, the same smiles, the same laughter. Dad reiterated to me how him and mom were a team, in a separate conversation, Mom said the same thing in different words.

I have written on the cocept of Mudita before, but simply it is the practice of pure joy. Mudita is described as an inner wellspring of joy that is always available, in all circumstances. It is extended to all beings, not just to those close to you. In cultivating this type of joy, one “begins with a cheerful person who is a good friend. Contemplate this cheerfulness with appreciation and let it fill you. When this state of sympathetic joy is strong, then direct it toward a dearly loved person, a “neutral” person, and a person who causes difficulty.

The next stage is to develop impartiality among the four–the loved one, the neutral person, the difficult person and oneself. And then sympathetic joy is extended on behalf of all beings”(O’Brien, 2018).

Whether it is a one year old or a couple of 70ish year olds, we can all practice joy if we slow down and begin to live intentionally. To laugh is to live, but secondly to this is to live intentionally and really see the other around us. Who is in our space, how are we really creating meaning for them? And for those of us who have intimate partners, how are we creating meaning, purpose and working towards creating shared meaning with them? I think Sisu offers us a blueprint and Sue and Jerry give us a an example.

Namaste

References:

Brussat (n.d.). Joy. Spirituality and Practice. https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/alphabet/view/17/joy

Nylund, J. (2018). Sisu: The Finnish Art of Courage. Running Press Adult.

O’Brien, B. (2018, August 25). Mudita: The Buddhist Practice of Sympathetic Joy Finding Happiness in the Good Fortune of Others. Learning Religions. Retrieved August 21, 2023, from https://www.learnreligions.com/mudita-sympathetic-joy-449704