What is not there is there when you let go of your expectations
Beware, keep alert: for you do not know when the time will come. Mark 13:33.
I have always loved this text. From the old days when I was more of a conservative, fire and brimstone, slayed in the blood of the lamb Christian to now as a more mindfulness based mental health clinician, this text offers a lot. I want to focus on the latter, looking at this text from a mindfulness point of view. keep alert. What does this mean? How have our senses become dulled in this 21st century world?
The poet Rumi once wrote: “Your mind, this glove of awareness, is a starry universe. When you push with your feet, a thousand new roads become clear.”
How often have you gone looking for your keys, not finding them, and then after an extensive search, only to find them where you started looking? In this post, I want to explore the spiritual practices of attention and being present.
I talk often as a therapist about the heart – mind connection. I observe that today, too many people are not connected with their bodies. People are crushed by their anxiety, distracted by their phones, and betrayed by the illusions of the influencer. Most people I encounter are not in their bodies. They are on autopilot, thinking or even worrying about the next thing, and reacting to what every arises in their path. Can we slow down?
Can we slow down?
I spent time this morning at Mount Saint Benedict Monastery for the annual Oblate Day gathering. In monastic spirituality, lectio or divine reading is a significant part of the contemplative experience. In this morning’s worship, the Psalms, readings, and canticles were sung. After Psalm or reading was sung, there was a long, pregnant pause to ruminate on the words brought into the consciousness. As a student of this way of reading for the better part of my life, I find the scriptures to be more meaningful, resonating long after the words have been spoken much like a bell still resonates after it has been struck. In the lecture after, the speaker talked about how engaging in a group or a classroom setting while in the round slows the moment down and makes the moment more intentional. As a mental health clinician who has led many groups, I too have found that the intentionality that comes from a group in the round can be profound.
The spiritual practice of awareness
Awareness is most related to the spiritual practices of attention and being present.
Being Present
Being present is hard in our digitally distracting world. There are so many things vying for our attention, that it may seem impossible to just sit for a moment and be in the moment. This morning, as I was sitting waiting in the quiet spaces for morning prayer and during lectio, I was practicing my breathing, focusing on my breath, listening to prayers that have been recited for thousands of years and for the women in the room, hundreds of years collectively among them all. This sacred space, this chapel held these still quiet moments.
We can begin to cultivate these still small moments of presence among us in three ways:
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Firstly, create reminders to be present in places where you can see them. I often am handing out 4×6 cards to my clients or encourage them to place sticky notes in places like a bathroom mirror or on a cabinet in the kitchen to be more present. A few years back, when I failed to complete a 100k foot race, I placed the failed race bib above my coffee maker so I had to see it every day so that I had a reminder of what I was training for the next year.
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Secondly, have sacred or spiritual spaces in your home. This can be a picture of a loved one, a picture of a special place in which you like to return to like a garden or a natural space or your family home.
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Thirdly, and most importantly, do not rush. The slower you are, the more awareness there will be in your actions. But if you rush, an auto-pilot mode will come on. At an advanced stage, you will be able to take fast action with awareness, but not when you are only starting out in being present.
Attention
Let us close our discussion then with a look at the spiritual practice of attention. On a bike trip this summer with my then 13-year-old (now 14), I rode a 20 plus year-old recumbent bike that was not appropriate for the distance we rode. It rode fine, but it would often go to where you looked due to handlebars and the weird wheelbase it had. This was a design flaw that was well known for this bike. We survived, but throughout the ride, I was reminded of this spiritual practice. Epictetus tells us that you become what you give your attention to.
The spiritual practice of attention enhances our awareness, balances our distractions, and counters our stressors. In the broader scope, attention is just another word for mindfulness. In my practice as a mental health clinician, my often-asked question is why? Secondly, to this is where? Why are you feeling this experience and where are you feeling it? Too often, we get entangled with our suffering, and we lose sight of the beauty around us. It often quoted that Fred Rogers would say in troubled times, look for the helpers. In the midst of the most terrible experiences, there can be glimmers of beauty. If we bring our awareness and attention to these moments, and then focus on them, they can lessen the bad times. Please understand here, that I am not saying they will go away, but your burden may be eased.
Being more attentive allows us moments of grace, gratitude, evidence of our connection with others and if your tradition follows it, an awareness of the Holy Spirit moving within your situation.
Look around
It is a beautiful fall day as I write this. As I stepped out of my car last night coming home from work, it was warmer than usual this far north in October. The air smelled like fall and there was a hint of rain in the smell. Sure enough, it was raining today, and the remaining fall colors were saturated with beauty. All this beauty surrounded me today. And yet there are wars, people dying, people starving and people not able to pay their bills and feed their children. But there are these moments of beauty. What you choose to lean into determines how you suffer. Sure, it is not easy when everything is falling apart, but those moments do exist … if you look around.
Namaste
Shalem Consulting 