The Gotman explain the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in this short video:
The Gottman Institute. (n.d.). Retrieved January 24, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/user/TheGottmanInstitute
These four elements of communication are pieces that need to be in place so that a couple or a parent unit can communicate in an effecient and effective manner with their spouse or child.
- Emotional intimacy is attuning to the other’s emotional state and changing one’s posture verbally, physically and emotionally to it. It requires a relatively high degree of emotional maturity and intelligence
- Intellectual intimacy is how you talk to your spouse about the day, the bills, purchases, life. For your kids, it is the same, but more importantly, doing homework, reading and really knowing what is going on in their lives.
- Physical intimacy is the space in which you spend with your spouse or your family. It also requires a high level of emotional intelligence and maturity. Physical intimacy has a lot to do also with being able to read each other’s body language.
- Spiritual intimacy is the initimacy that comes when you are able to read and respond appropriately to the spiritual or primal energy your loved ones give off when they are emoting. How does your wife feel to you when she is upset. How does your kid feel to you when they are scared. Think iof the old adage, “The room got cold when she walked in”. This speaks to the woman’s spiritual energy resonating off of her body. Energy work experts talk about this as one’s taurus field, which is believed to extend 15 feet beyond your body
Chapman, G. D. (2015). The 5 love languages. Chicago: Northfield Pub.